Comments on: I Feel Pretty! (Witty and Wise, Too.) http://www.shannonrigney.com/2010/01/05/i-feel-pretty-and-witty-and-wise/ sometimes it takes a while Tue, 13 Dec 2011 07:51:48 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.1.2 By: shannon http://www.shannonrigney.com/2010/01/05/i-feel-pretty-and-witty-and-wise/comment-page-1/#comment-83 shannon Thu, 28 Jan 2010 03:21:11 +0000 http://www.shannonrigney.com/?p=236#comment-83 Hi Angie - Great to hear from you! Thanks for checking out the blog. I'm glad to hear that you relate. Isn't it odd, the way that kids pick up on gender stereotypes, even when we try so hard not to push them? Although, maybe they're not picking up on any stereotypes but, rather, just expressing what they genuinely enjoy. I'm still scratching my head over that one, and probably always will be since there's no way to know for sure. Anyway, I agree with you one hundred percent that a child's preferred color means much less than the qualities and traits the child develops. How can we parents ensure that pink isn't just the tip of some girly, giggly, gossipy, afraid-to-get-dirty, only-interested-in-clothes mountain? Hi Angie – Great to hear from you! Thanks for checking out the blog. I’m glad to hear that you relate. Isn’t it odd, the way that kids pick up on gender stereotypes, even when we try so hard not to push them? Although, maybe they’re not picking up on any stereotypes but, rather, just expressing what they genuinely enjoy. I’m still scratching my head over that one, and probably always will be since there’s no way to know for sure.

Anyway, I agree with you one hundred percent that a child’s preferred color means much less than the qualities and traits the child develops. How can we parents ensure that pink isn’t just the tip of some girly, giggly, gossipy, afraid-to-get-dirty, only-interested-in-clothes mountain?

]]> By: Angie http://www.shannonrigney.com/2010/01/05/i-feel-pretty-and-witty-and-wise/comment-page-1/#comment-80 Angie Mon, 25 Jan 2010 19:49:59 +0000 http://www.shannonrigney.com/?p=236#comment-80 Hi Shannon - I worked with Chris for a couple of years, and saw his link here on Facebook. Anyway, this totally strikes a chord. I am now a mother of two little girls, and my husband and I are also as smart-girl/strong-girl supportive as possible. We don't exactly live the lives of gender stereotypes. But somehow or another, our 2 1/2 year old is as girly a girl as they come: she loves dollies and babies and she love love loves pink. But she also loves games and books and blocks and balls. She's got a lot of pink toys at this point because she loves pink. But her football is green and blue, and there isn't a pink piece in Candy Land so she uses the red one. I don't know where this uber-girly behavior comes from - it certainly wasn't from me - but since she loves to wear pink, and put her crayons in a pink box, and use a pink napkin and placemat, and buy me pink carnations every weekend... we support her in it. Better that she's dressing herself, putting her toys away, learning table manners and practicing generosity. If it means an overabundance of pink in our house, so long as she throws a spiral in a couple of years we'll happily live with it for now. Anyway, enjoy your writing - thanks - hope you don't mind me stopping by and leaving a comment! Take care - sounds like all is wonderful with you, which is great to hear! Angie Hi Shannon – I worked with Chris for a couple of years, and saw his link here on Facebook. Anyway, this totally strikes a chord. I am now a mother of two little girls, and my husband and I are also as smart-girl/strong-girl supportive as possible. We don’t exactly live the lives of gender stereotypes. But somehow or another, our 2 1/2 year old is as girly a girl as they come: she loves dollies and babies and she love love loves pink. But she also loves games and books and blocks and balls. She’s got a lot of pink toys at this point because she loves pink. But her football is green and blue, and there isn’t a pink piece in Candy Land so she uses the red one. I don’t know where this uber-girly behavior comes from – it certainly wasn’t from me – but since she loves to wear pink, and put her crayons in a pink box, and use a pink napkin and placemat, and buy me pink carnations every weekend… we support her in it. Better that she’s dressing herself, putting her toys away, learning table manners and practicing generosity. If it means an overabundance of pink in our house, so long as she throws a spiral in a couple of years we’ll happily live with it for now.

Anyway, enjoy your writing – thanks – hope you don’t mind me stopping by and leaving a comment!

Take care – sounds like all is wonderful with you, which is great to hear!
Angie

]]> By: shannon http://www.shannonrigney.com/2010/01/05/i-feel-pretty-and-witty-and-wise/comment-page-1/#comment-76 shannon Sun, 17 Jan 2010 19:26:47 +0000 http://www.shannonrigney.com/?p=236#comment-76 Scott, thank you for your response. I appreciate the perspective you have, my friend, as someone who has been in the game quite a lot longer than I. Scott, thank you for your response. I appreciate the perspective you have, my friend, as someone who has been in the game quite a lot longer than I.

]]> By: Scott Quasius http://www.shannonrigney.com/2010/01/05/i-feel-pretty-and-witty-and-wise/comment-page-1/#comment-74 Scott Quasius Sat, 16 Jan 2010 03:05:12 +0000 http://www.shannonrigney.com/?p=236#comment-74 Shannon, as the father of a now eight year old girl who loves to wear pink, purple too, I have to say the more important thing than what color she wears is you. How you treat her, care for her, show your own strengths to her, are far more valuable. Children are a reflection of their surroundings. Encourage to love and be loved, to embrace life in good and bad times, and be the woman that you want her to become. Remember, she's watching you all the time and more so than not she'll follow yours, and her fathers behaviors. Be the role model, and don't be afraid to say"I look pretty too". Shannon, as the father of a now eight year old girl who loves to wear pink, purple too, I have to say the more important thing than what color she wears is you. How you treat her, care for her, show your own strengths to her, are far more valuable. Children are a reflection of their surroundings. Encourage to love and be loved, to embrace life in good and bad times, and be the woman that you want her to become. Remember, she’s watching you all the time and more so than not she’ll follow yours, and her fathers behaviors. Be the role model, and don’t be afraid to say”I look pretty too”.

]]> By: shannon http://www.shannonrigney.com/2010/01/05/i-feel-pretty-and-witty-and-wise/comment-page-1/#comment-73 shannon Wed, 13 Jan 2010 23:56:08 +0000 http://www.shannonrigney.com/?p=236#comment-73 Justin, thanks for the comment. I actually haven't read R.O., but I've heard lots about it. I'm waiting 'til I get my free copy as part of the middle-school girls' parent welcome guide (just kidding). The weird thing is, kids don't know (or at least could never articulate) about any of the baggage that the color pink has for many of us. For me, it's purely symbolic. It has to do with the assumptions that we (society) make about what girls will like or be or want or do. I think that dressing a girl in pink probably has zero bearing on her personal development if you also encourage her to pick up the slugs in the back garden, because the latter is in no danger of falling under the category of typical girls' activities. but, yes, I'll have many years when Win is an adult to thoroughly rethink all my decisions and wonder just which ones were responsible for screwing her up. Justin, thanks for the comment. I actually haven’t read R.O., but I’ve heard lots about it. I’m waiting ’til I get my free copy as part of the middle-school girls’ parent welcome guide (just kidding).

The weird thing is, kids don’t know (or at least could never articulate) about any of the baggage that the color pink has for many of us. For me, it’s purely symbolic. It has to do with the assumptions that we (society) make about what girls will like or be or want or do. I think that dressing a girl in pink probably has zero bearing on her personal development if you also encourage her to pick up the slugs in the back garden, because the latter is in no danger of falling under the category of typical girls’ activities.

but, yes, I’ll have many years when Win is an adult to thoroughly rethink all my decisions and wonder just which ones were responsible for screwing her up.

]]> By: Justin http://www.shannonrigney.com/2010/01/05/i-feel-pretty-and-witty-and-wise/comment-page-1/#comment-72 Justin Wed, 13 Jan 2010 14:20:26 +0000 http://www.shannonrigney.com/?p=236#comment-72 Ach, shades of Reviving Ophelia (http://www.amazon.com/Reviving-Ophelia-Adolescent-Ballantine-Readers/dp/0345392825) setting in already? Although I gotta say I have a niece who often dresses in pink but is the first one to dart out the back door to look for slugs in our compost pile and shriek "ewww, gross" while simultaneously picking up said slugs with bare hands. Perhaps pretty and independent, rugged, and self-confident are not mutually exclusive. You're probably walking a fine line though and like many things in life you're probably not going to know the right response until many years after the fact. Ach, shades of Reviving Ophelia (http://www.amazon.com/Reviving-Ophelia-Adolescent-Ballantine-Readers/dp/0345392825) setting in already? Although I gotta say I have a niece who often dresses in pink but is the first one to dart out the back door to look for slugs in our compost pile and shriek “ewww, gross” while simultaneously picking up said slugs with bare hands. Perhaps pretty and independent, rugged, and self-confident are not mutually exclusive. You’re probably walking a fine line though and like many things in life you’re probably not going to know the right response until many years after the fact.

]]> By: shannon http://www.shannonrigney.com/2010/01/05/i-feel-pretty-and-witty-and-wise/comment-page-1/#comment-70 shannon Sat, 09 Jan 2010 20:51:38 +0000 http://www.shannonrigney.com/?p=236#comment-70 I agree that I want to keep Win safe from stereotypes, but not necessarily about being anti-pink. What if the things that bring her happiness happen to also be girly? Or, aside from any of that, I wouldn't want to communicate to any of our children, girl or boy, a message that could be interpreted as anti-girl. I agree that I want to keep Win safe from stereotypes, but not necessarily about being anti-pink. What if the things that bring her happiness happen to also be girly? Or, aside from any of that, I wouldn’t want to communicate to any of our children, girl or boy, a message that could be interpreted as anti-girl.

]]> By: Chris http://www.shannonrigney.com/2010/01/05/i-feel-pretty-and-witty-and-wise/comment-page-1/#comment-69 Chris Sat, 09 Jan 2010 19:49:05 +0000 http://www.shannonrigney.com/?p=236#comment-69 I'm still anti-pink because it's part of a widely-held, disempowering stereotype of what girls should be and how they should relate to the world. In my dream world, Win is kept safe from those stereotypes as much as possible, in the hopes that she develops a healthy independent self-image before she's exposed society's expectations. I’m still anti-pink because it’s part of a widely-held, disempowering stereotype of what girls should be and how they should relate to the world. In my dream world, Win is kept safe from those stereotypes as much as possible, in the hopes that she develops a healthy independent self-image before she’s exposed society’s expectations.

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